Inside the 76ers Draft Day

[Skyhooker]

It’s the middle of August and it’s like Christmas day in the DASL world that I’m now a part of. It’s draft day for my beloved 76ers team. I’ve got 3 picks in the draft, 2 of them pretty low, but still you never know. It’s not often there are surprises in the late part of the draft and it’s a computer game, so everything is a shot in the dark. But I’m still excited to see what I can get, like a 7 year old waiting to open those presents. My mind is racing a million miles an hour going through the infinite number of scenarios that could play out later today during the draft. Can I package my picks to move up in the draft? I pray with every PM that I send out the answer will be yes. Will the player I really want drop a couple spots and make it to #14? With every denied trade offer, this becomes my only hope. HOPE!!! And Pray. My whole run at a championship in upcoming seasons may depend on hope and a prayer. Free agency is still gonna happen in a few days and that’ll have more of an impact on this year’s championship, but the draft will determine my long-term future. The draft has started. Christmas you are here.

What is going on? No one is answering my trade offers. The draft is moving at a snail’s pace. I have #16 and it has taken 24 hours to get through the first 8 picks. Is it possible I’ll have to wait to open my present another 24 hours. You can’t do this to me. You wouldn’t do it to a 7 year old on Christmas. I’ll stay near my computer to see if I can still make a trade happen, or see if the next 7 picks happen fast. I have a life though. I have to eat. I have to work. I have to sleep. I have to shower. I have to change my clothes. Should I call in sick to work? I’m trying to predict the unpredictable and decide who will be available in 8 picks. Isn’t there some math formula I can use or statistical forecasting tool I can use to ease my mind. I can’t find a way. An ominous cloud is hanging over my selection. When will it happen? Who shall I pick? Dammit! There goes Jay Williams. I wanted to move up for him so bad. I guess I’ll have to address the b/u pg and sg in free agency. Oh well. Wait – I found a solution. He’s Mike Dunleavy Jr. He might be a sleeper. A steady guy that will excel as a backup. He’ll be my pick. That eases my mind. I can relax and live a regular life for a few hours.

Maybe I should focus on free agency now. I guess there’s not much to focus on. Vince baby spurned me for a chance at free agency. I think he just wanted to get that extra money I can offer him. No problem. He’ll get 12.5% raises instead of 10%. He won’t leave. He sees the future and potential of this team and I’ll pay him more than anyone else. I don’t have any extra money to throw at the big guys. Kobe would go nice with Vince, but not a necessity. Alonso would fit nicely into my team. Maybe I’ll get a backup big or point with the MLE. I shouldn’t even try for some of these guys with the MLE. It’s a waste to even type the bid. Oh well, maybe I’ll win the lottery and it’ll happen. I’ll try it.

WTF!? Dunleavy Jr. just got picked? Everything around me just got quiet. My mind is racing, but racing to nowhere. What am I going to do? Who’s left at a position of need? OMG this is unbelievable. I’m not excited about anyone now. Quick, I need to make some more trade offers. Does anyone want this pick? Please please please someone respond. I just watched my sister get the Barbie doll she wanted, but I won’t get the same gift. I might be stuck with socks. No one wants socks. No one wants this pick. Aaaaggghhhh!!! John Salmons – I never heard of this guy. Quick, do an internet search. Who is John Salmons? Well, John Salmons is still in the league. That’s a good thing, right? Hmmm. He actually played for the 76ers. Maybe this was meant to be. Stats? Where are his stats? 1st few years were garbage but then averaged 18 pts in Sacremento and Chicago and Milwaukee. Maybe this guy has skills. Wait a minute. I’m thinking like this is a real guy. He’s just a computer guy. There’s no correlation or so we’re told, but there is some correlation. Oh well, it’s my pick. There aren’t great options. Salmons it is, for better or for worse.

They’re all a shot in the dark, especially this late. I don’t really need a PF, but I like Haslem. I know he’s in the league. I’ve seen him play with Wade and LeBron. I’ll pick him in 3 picks if he’s still there. My expectations are low for him and that I’ll get him. It’s only 3 picks but the board is slim. Nope he’s gone. Who’s left? Perusing the scouting reports and Kareem Rush seems okay. I just drafted another SG though. Why would I need another? Oh yeah. It’s a computer game, one might turn out and the other not. He can shoot it says. “Might struggle with turnovers.” I don’t like that. Eh. No other options. This draft is taking forever. Live draft is coming up. I’ve still got one pick to make. I can’t get on chat. Oh well. I’m not gonna make a big deal over it. I wish I didn’t have this pick. Ironically it’s mine based on my record last year. I gotta live, I gotta eat, I gotta sleep, I gotta get some sun. I’ll let the computer sim my pick.

Christmas this year was not what I wanted. Santa let me down. Wasn’t I a good person this year? I got socks in my stocking, socks from Santa, and my family gave me socks. I don’t even have a Christmas next year. I guess there’s still free agency. I can look forward to unwrapping Vince. He'll be like my birthday present. Ooh, I’m excited for that now.

I wonder if I have an addiction?

[UOducksTK1]

LOL. Entertaining, but sounds extremely stressful.

"My whole run at a championship in upcoming seasons may depend on hope and a prayer."

Good line.

[UOducksTK1]

+2 added to Al Harrington's jump shot